To begin with, I think I have to be honest: I like my stretch marks. My skin is always subject to them; I started getting stretch marks on my legs as I went through my middle school growth and kept them in various places on my body, even then. I think they are beautiful. They remind me of a fish’s belly, they are shiny and soft. They also remind me of how wonderful it is for our bodies to grow and change and adapt to new circumstances. They are human wooden rings.
I also fully appreciate and understand that a lot of people don’t like their stretch marks. Even if you don’t always like everything about yourself, you should have a physically positive feminine card. I ended my pregnancy with much lower extension scores than I thought they would not really appear until I was in my third trimester. Still, I ‘ve got some very significant ones, especially in the wonderfully named “love handle” area. As anyone with an account will tell you, the DIY culture is on the rise, and stretch marks are no exception. Women are looking for stretch mark cure at home and there is no shortage of lists in this regard. But how do you know which drugs are worth the time and effort? Is it realistic to expect any of these remedies to work?
am very skeptical that any of these home remedies will work. I am generally skeptical of “natural” remedies for anything, but they have ended up working so well for me in the past, so why not try them on my stretch marks? I would like to offer useful suggestions to my fellow moms who are looking for new options.
Everyone’s skin is different. My results may not be universal, but I can provide some insight into what the process of using these home remedies is.
Operation Rub is a different substance in my body
I am going to try four different home remedies for stretch marks in three weeks. To find the solutions I used, I did what I thought no one else would do: I googled and chose the decision that caught my eye first. I will use a different solution on each of the “four types” of my midsection so that I do not have to spend my entire life on this test.
Since we do not see any major changes from week to week I am going to break down wanting to use every solution and encourage anyone else to try or not. Here we go!
Solution 1: Like rubbing pesto on your stomach
The first solution that caught my eye was alfalfa. The article I read said that the amino acids in alfalfa leaves contribute to healthy skin. Not sure how to remove stretch marks from being good for your skin (the article is not big on in-depth descriptions), but it is completely out of the possibility. My mom is actually a certified herbalist / naturopath, so I sent her a text message (from the basement, because I’m lazy) and asked her if she could think of any reason why alfalfa would work to remove stretch marks.
“Not really,” she said.
But nothing dared, nothing received, right? I now realize that not everyone lives in their herbal mom’s basement. Having dried alfalfa leaves on a shelf in your basement like I did probably won’t happen to you. But there are plenty of places where you can buy bulk herbs online if you want to try this solution yourself.
The article said to mix powdered leaves with chamomile oil. I have no chamomile oil, so I used jojoba instead. Any oil you know your skin will not work negatively to be good; Olive oil will do the trick too.
The use of this algae broth in my body is almost not as bulky as I thought. At first I thought I had to lie down to prevent it from running everywhere, but it was so elegant, it smelled like basil pesto.
The article advised me to use this paste “three times a day” but I definitely did not. In the dialect of our time, no one has time for that. I rubbed it once in the morning and once at night and gently rubbed it in for two minutes. The article suggests that you can leave it on your skin, but it certainly does not apply to me because I do not like all of my clothes. I rubbed the rest (usually some dry bits of alfalfa fiber) with a tissue.
So, yes, there is no amazing change (yes, as my photos mention, I wear sweat all the time).
Final Quality: Although this method did nothing for my stretch marks, it was nice and moisturizing. This is not a bad face, or even hair, just use the mask for a while each time.
Solution two: Shame on the potatoes
The second solution I tried was potato juice. This was of interest to me because two weeks after giving birth when I had mastitis worse, my mother converted me from raw potatoes to a boob chicken. It’s totally ridiculous and weird, but it works! I found that if potatoes from a blocked milk tube can reduce fever and inflammation, it may have other magical healing properties.
I was also impressed by its simplicity. All I have to do is take a slice of potato and rub it on my stretch marks, then hop in the shower and rinse. According to the article, the vitamins and minerals in potatoes promote my skin cells to regenerate. Potatoes are really wonderful, aren’t they?
When I first tried this, I was standing in my kitchen. That makes sense, doesn’t it? That’s where the potatoes and knives are. So I cut myself into a nice, starchy piece, lifted my shirt and rubbed it right in front of the kitchen window. I was so focused on what I was doing that my next door neighbor was helping with a construction project for my next door house and I didn’t notice him looking at me from the next door. I went to high school with him too. He was in a group with my ex-boyfriend. Anyway, when I looked up and saw him rubbing a raw potato slice in my stomach, I froze for a second and then fell to the floor under the window and prayed for death.
Despite my shame and embarrassment, I rubbed the tuber on my stomach twice daily for three weeks. Not in front of the window.
Surprise! This seems right.
Final Quality: I mean, rubbing potatoes on your skin is not bad for you. Personally, I will save mine on Thanksgiving.
Solution three: Scrub the sludge
It was like I did in a sleepover in middle school. The article told me that sugar is a “natural exfoliant” and “the best home remedy to get rid of stretch marks”. If you say so!
I did not make any accurate measurements; Squeeze the lemon in a bowl and add the jojoba oil (again, jojoba is what I did; no oil will do), then add enough sugar to form a paste.
Now, this solution is not quick and easy. I take this bowl of extra thick and greasy lemon in the shower with me every day and rub it on my skin for eight to 10 WHOLE MINUTES. To get it, I am reminded of the countless countless minutes of my life that I have been mindlessly scrolling through Dumbledore. It doesn’t help, but I began to wonder how long it would take humans to fit our phones into our brains to enable shower time blogging. Ten minutes long.
Final Quality: It might have really worked, kind of? Some of the redness of the big stretch marks seemed to subside a bit, and I think it would make sense if you consider all the dead skin I was getting rid of by exfoliating for eight to 10 minutes a day, which I still can’t even hope I did.
If anything, this solution reminded me of the benefits of exfoliating. This is not something I add to my natural beauty regimen, but I think it is worth spending time doing this once a week, especially as my skin is extra dry during the winter months. I’m not sure, but if you have new stretch marks, this solution (or exfoliating in general) can help remove the initial redness a bit faster.
Solution Four: What is Glycerin?
First of all, can you take a moment to apply the quotation marks here? “100% Pure.” Blink, blink. Vegetable glycerin is another thing that lurks in the cupboard around my house. I know my mom used this to make herbal remedies, but I had no idea what it was. Turns out, this is a liquid made from vegetable oils. It tastes sweet, and it is found in a lot of home and cosmetic products. The article I read said that adding two drops of glycerin to some lemon juice should be rubbed into the skin because glycerin not only reduces stretch marks, but also helps to “keep your skin hydrated”.
When I first tried to make this, I accidentally added too much glycerin and ended up with glycerin soup.
felt that it was easy to rub the lemon directly on my skin and then rub the glycerin on top. So I did this twice daily for three weeks. I have to say, it felt like a big waste of time. The latch to my brain and “Hey, it feels like we’re doing something useful!” Nothing to say. The smell of lemon, it failed me.
Final Quality: Yes, it does nothing. Again, my skin is very dry and itchy during the winter months, so the extra moisture I nourished my skin was fine. But it is much easier to slap some avino than to rub a lemon wedge on your lower back twice a day. When you use all of your lemons for stretch mark tests, you run out, which equates to a very sad gin and tonic.
Did I lose my lines?
When I started this experiment, I was proud of my stretch marks and I was so safe that I was happy to have them on my body. But once or twice I thought, “Hey, what if it really works? Wouldn’t it be great to have nice, smooth skin again?” It is natural for the body to have a long life before you had a baby and adjusting to your new body is part of the postpartum experience.
One thing is for sure: during this experiment I took care of my body more seriously than I usually do. Like many moms, after I had my baby, self-care was not a priority. Between baby and work, I sometimes don’t have time to brush my teeth.
So, while these home remedies, for the most part, do not get rid of my stretch marks, I appreciate the reminder that if I try, I can spend time on self-defense, even a few minutes before I jump. Those few minutes of caring for me went a long way toward renewing my energy as the best mom I could be.